Christmas Cracker Jokes

Here are 20 festive (and delightfully cheesy!) Christmas cracker jokes to bring some giggles to your holiday celebrations:

  1. What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
    He pulled a cracker!

  2. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
    He was picking his nose.

  3. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
    Wrap!

  4. What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite!

  5. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
    “Quit hanging around!”

  6. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
    He keeps a log.

  7. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
    Because they always drop their needles!

  8. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
    Claus-trophobia!

  9. How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus' weight when he was born?
    They had a weigh in a manger.

  10. What’s Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents?
    Idaho-ho-ho!

  11. Why was the turkey in the pop group?
    Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

  12. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
    A cookie sheet!

  13. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
    Santa Pause.

  14. How does a snowman get around?
    By riding an “icicle.”

  15. What do elves do after school?
    Their gnomework!

  16. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
    “Stick with me, and we’ll go places!”

  17. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

  18. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
    Tinsellitis!

  19. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Frosted flakes!

  20. Why did the Grinch go to the off license?
    He needed a little holiday spirit!

These are sure to bring some laughs (and groans!) around the table. Enjoy!

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